Why I think a prenup is an act of love. If it's done properly.

The word prenup still carries baggage. It suggests distrust, pessimism, a lawyer's hand reaching into the beginning of something that should be purely hopeful. I understand why people feel that way. But in nearly two decades of family law, I have come to believe the opposite - that a well-drawn financial agreement, approached honestly and with care, is one of the more loving things two people can do before they marry.

What a financial agreement actually does is remove a layer of uncertainty from the relationship. Both people know, clearly and explicitly, what they are bringing to the marriage and what would happen if it ended. That clarity does not diminish the commitment - it protects it from the kind of ambiguity that can become corrosive over time, particularly when one or both parties have significant assets, a business, children from a previous relationship, or family wealth they need to protect.

It is worth being honest about the limitations. Binding financial agreements under Australian law carry enforceability risk - they can be set aside by a court in certain circumstances, and some family lawyers choose not to offer them for that reason. We do offer them, because we believe a carefully prepared agreement still provides meaningful protection and a clear statement of intention that courts will consider. But the quality of the drafting matters enormously. An agreement prepared without proper independent advice on both sides, rushed to meet a wedding date, or that fails to reflect what both parties genuinely intend is not only legally vulnerable - it defeats the purpose entirely.

If you are considering a financial agreement - whether before marriage, after it, or as part of a cohabitation arrangement - the conversation is worth having early, and with a lawyer who understands both the value and the limits of what they are preparing. That combination of honesty and expertise is exactly what this kind of work requires.