When the other side is being impossible

Some separations are conducted well by both parties. They are not easy - separation is never easy - but both people approach it with enough goodwill and enough restraint to reach an outcome without causing lasting damage. Then there are the others. The ones where the other side is obstructive, where every agreement unravels, where the correspondence is designed to provoke rather than resolve. These matters are harder, and they require a different kind of advice.

The instinct when someone is being unreasonable is to meet it in kind - to match their energy, to respond to every accusation, to demonstrate that you will not be pushed around. This instinct is understandable and almost always counterproductive. Every reactive response extends the process. Every escalation costs money, time and emotional reserves that you will need later. The clients who navigate high-conflict separations best are the ones who learn, often with help, to respond rather than react.

This does not mean being passive. It means being strategic. It means understanding which battles matter and which do not, which correspondence requires a response and which should be left to sit. It means having lawyers who can absorb the pressure on your behalf - who can read what is really happening beneath the surface of a difficult matter and advise accordingly - so that you do not have to carry it alone.

If the other side is making this harder than it needs to be, that is not a reason to match them. It is a reason to be more deliberate, more precise, and more focused on the outcome than on the process. That is where we can help.