What we get wrong about the end of relationships

We put enormous energy into the beginning of relationships and almost none into preparing for the possibility that they might change.

Engagement parties, wedding planning, birth announcements. These are celebrated and supported in ways that separation never is. Yet most relationships, statistically, will not last forever. This is not a moral failure. It is a reality our legal system and our culture have been slow to acknowledge honestly.

Binding financial agreements, which people outside the law still sometimes call prenuptial agreements, are treated in many circles as unromantic or mistrustful. I think the opposite. A couple who can sit down together before they marry and have an honest conversation about money, about values, about what would be fair if things changed, are demonstrating exactly the kind of maturity and care for each other that makes relationships work. It is not a prediction of failure. It is an act of respect.

The same is true for unmarried couples having children together. The question of how you would both parent if the relationship ended is one of the most important conversations two people can have, and almost nobody has it before they need to. Having it early, before things are difficult, is not defeatist. It is responsible.

Families look different now. Blended families, co-parenting between people who were never married, step-parents who are deeply involved in children's lives. The idea that separation means a family is broken is worth letting go of. Families change. With the right support and the right foundations, they can change well.

At Franklin Family Law we are here for the long term, not just the legal problem in front of us. We think about clients and their children and the whole shape of a family in transition. Not because that is what lawyers are supposed to say, but because it is the only way to actually help.