What I tell every client in the first meeting

The first meeting with a family lawyer is not what most people expect. They arrive prepared to explain everything - the timeline, the other person's behaviour, the things that have been said and done. They want to be heard, and they should be. But the most important work of that first conversation is not recounting the past. It is understanding what comes next.

The early decisions in a separation carry disproportionate weight. What you agree to informally in the first weeks can become the baseline for everything that follows. How you communicate with the other party, what you put in writing, how you handle shared finances in the interim - these are not administrative details. They are the foundation of your position.

What I tell every client in that first meeting is this: slow down. Not because urgency is wrong, but because clarity is more valuable than speed. The clients who take the time to understand their options before they act - who resist the pressure to respond immediately to every provocation, who make considered decisions rather than reactive ones - almost always reach better outcomes. Legally and personally.

The right questions in that first meeting are not about who was at fault. They are about what you want your life to look like in two years, and what decisions made today will help you get there. That is where we start.